fondle night is every night

THIS REALLY NEEDS TO BE UPDATED. GET ON THAT, SELF.

X-Men: First Class

silent treatment [childhood!AU, kink meme fill, gen, Erik Lehnsherr, Charles Xavier, mentions of others, if the beach happened over a sandcastle, G]
Start to Melt [canon!AU, Erik/Charles, Jean Grey bonds with Erik, G]

Mansion!crack fic

A Good Idea at the Time [canon, Erik/Charles, fruit salad, PG-13]
The Right Time is the Least Appropriate Moment [canon!au, Erik/Charles, whisky-flavoured condoms, R]
This Crazy Game Called Life [canon, Erik/Charles, group bonding over game night, R]

Mutant!AU -- Emma and Erik are setup on a blind date. Charles and Erik end up together. Modern setting.

First Dates [Erik/Charles, Emma Frost, G/PG]
Every Time I Think of You [Erik/Charles, Raven, Azazel, NC-17]


Human!AU -- Charles and Erik become best friends and grow up together. Modern setting.


Forget All Your Worries [Erik, Charles, bicycle learning, G]
We Don't Notice Any Time Pass [Erik, Charles, Raven, important instances, G]

Potentially embarrassing things

Mixed Nuts: Iranian Conflict [RPS crack, Steve Naghavi/Anderson Cooper, drunk!fic -- as in, I was drunk when I wrote this]

--

I was clearing out my memories, and for the sake of consolidation decided to make a post for these. I will likely regret doing this in the morning, but right now I'm driven by lack of sleep and it seems like a good idea. Please note that, more or less, most of these are a couple years old now.

I write such bizarre stories.

This is super fluffy future!fic/kid!fic. No context necessary. (I think? They're dodgy professors by this point and have kids.) This arose from talking to stlkrchck about Charles hiding dinosaurs in the lawn for their kids to discover while Wanda and Pietro are going through a dinosaur phase.

Erik stands in the kitchen washing dishes, pointedly ignoring the irritated whirring of the coffee machine, while Charles traipses around outside destroying their lawn. He has been at it the past hour, armed with a trowel and several plastic dinosaurs, moving in and out of Erik’s line of vision, leaving some very distinct unearthed patches amidst the grass. Finished with the last pan, Erik places it on the drying rack and goes outside to stage an intervention.

( 'Charles,' Erik says, just loud enough to get Charles' attention. )

This is kind of death fic? Do I even need to state that since the first line gives it away? The other WsIP I have are giving me issues right now. Anyway, this is another attempt to at least write something.

Title: Matter
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1680
Summary: Dystopic Future AU. Still-powered. Charles Xavier dies in Erik’s arms on a small, inconsequential island that’s wiped from the map not long after. Three months later, he turns up on Erik’s sofa.
Notes: Anyhow, this was written for the November prompts via 31_days. Obviously out of compliance. Also, this isn't a Blade Runner AU, but that is where I took the term replicant from. This story follows a non-linear narrative, depending on what the prompt inspires.

( Erik’s throat closes at the feel of Charles’ presence, as though Erik himself is suffocating. )

I'm posting things that I wrote at various points. Um, this really shouldn't be taken in any way serious, since I don't particularly care for vampire stories (like even in the Slayer story, there's minimal vamps included).

Characters: Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr
Rating: G
Word Count: ~980
Summary: Cracky mini-fill for this kink_meme prompt: I would like some vampiric Erik/Charles. Both of them could be vampires, either of them could be one, or none of them were -- in fact, they were vampire hunters. Or babysitters. I don't really care.

( 'How do vampires even have babies? It makes no biological sense,' Charles says, holding the child away from him like she might be a bomb about to go off. )

Comment with a character/pairing/inanimate object and a prompt and I will write something for you.

Out of necessity it will be short. If you ask for angst it probably won't be good (I'm not in an angst writing mood, sorry). Any fandom is open, but if it's one I haven't written in before (Suits, Supernatural)/something I'm not familiar with, I can't guarantee quality.

I’m cold. It’s snowing. Fingers crossed that we don’t lose power. Et cetera et cetera.

Title: The Weather Outside
Rating: G
WC: ~560
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Summary: At the end of a cold day, Charles keeps Erik warm.
Notes: No split-AU. Or wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, since it wasn't snowing at the time of the movie.

( Warmth enveloped Erik as soon as he entered through the kitchen. )

Title: That Which Defines
Pairing/Characters: Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, Rome
Rating: G
Summary: The relationship between Hellas, Kemet, and Rome from 146 BCE to 31 BCE.
Notes: Written for aph_historyswap!

( Kemet is Hella's closest friend who endures. )

Title: To Want Unknowingly
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1500
Pairing/Characters: Charles, Erik,
Summary: Erik has bruises and a busted lip from a fight. Charles provides him with frozen vegetables and concern.
Notes: Modern AU in which Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are best friends since childhood.

( Over the years, Erik has become better at ignoring what anyone says about himself, but if anyone crosses a certain line when speaking about Charles, all bets are off. )

Here on AO3.

Previous:

Forget All Your Worries
We Don't Notice Any Time Pass

I think this got me over the angst writing block I've had for a while, so hopefully now I can get a handle on the scenes of other things I want to write. I'm rubbish at dealing with my own feelings, so the solution is evidently to write about mutants who are also, um, bad at dealing with their feelings. Enjoy?

Title: The Way I Danced With You
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Charles/Erik
Word Count: ~1000
Summary: Erik and Charles share one last dance.
Note: Slight canon divergence. Basically a movie coda. Inspired by the Ben Folds ft Rufus Wainwright version of "Careless Whisper".

( Erik's back in the study Charles always favored, one out of many, though Erik never knew what made this one special and now, he supposes, he never will. )

Link to AO3.

I, uh, don't write fic-porn often for a reason, but this happened. So.

Title: Every Time I Think of You
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/Characters: Charles/Erik, Raven, Azazel
Word Count: ~3900
Summary: Erik starts to trust Charles, has an annoying day at work, and is impatient. Not necessarily in that order.
Note: Modern AU, still-powered, wherein mutant and proud isn't a big deal. Continuation from First Dates.

( Exhaustion hit Erik like a landslide once he had parted from Charles. )

Link to AO3 version.